I went home finally and, while it’s nice to be able to not have to cook anymore, I was hit with the reality that I have to actually do revision for my exams; I haven’t done shit. I might be screwed.
I was rewatching some videos from the ‘I can’t sleep’ / nosleep666 youtube channel and something about the artstyle is very soothing to me, even if the subject matter is… not really supposed to be (it’s quite disturbing). Actually, the fact that the subject matter is horror is also rather soothing, I guess it takes me back to when I was an edgy kid drawing stickfigures, or browsing the internet without parental supervision. I especially like the Elevator video - which is set to compressed music from Silent Hill. I can’t really describe it but it’s very nostalgic. I adore it in a way I can’t really describe. I’ve tried to replicate the art style, or tried to create art that invokes a similar feeling but it’s never really the same.
Every time I go home I always end up disillusioned with it. Not that it’s bad or anything, just that it’s not really different from being at uni and sometimes it’s worse. I guess in the previous diary entries I thought going back home will make me forget about the impending final exams in January?? Not really sure. My parents have also moved a bunch of my stuff and it’s a pain to retrieve.
Recently I’ve been in a mood to write/draw manga, but for the last year and a half my ideas haven’t been very good, and I’m coming up with less of them. I had some banger ideas when I was in secondary school and sixth form but I don’t remember them now because I don’t write them down (lol, my fault). Maybe the school environment and the absolutely soullessness of it makes me more creative? Fuck if I know man.
I am writing this at 4:41 am on the 9th. But whenever I say 'today' pretend it's the 8th.
The deadline for my coursework was today at noon. I stayed up to finish it, which was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. I had to skip a question and half ass 5 other ones with answers I know are wrong because otherwise I wouldn't have got it done at all. It was really doing my head in, to the point where I was actually getting a headache. I thought I was gonna wake up sick but after sleeping it was alright.
So because of that whole experience I woke up today at around 5pm.
As soon as I got out of bed I went to make dinner. I've been wanting to make this dish for a long time now - it's perfect for winter and my mum makes a really delicious one. It's like a macaroni milk soup? I put boiled chicken in it as well. It's called sopas.
I was really looking forward to it but I think I messed up and put the milk at the wrong time - so it ended up not being as good as it could've been. I'm so gutted. I also added way too much macaroni so when I went to eat some more a few hours later the macaroni had absorbed all the soup. Also, it doesn't really taste like anything? I mean, at least it doesn't taste bad I guess. It might've been because I didn't really have onions or chicken stock or anything.
Since I'm done with my coursework I spent the whole day not doing any work - I usually don't anyway but hear me out. I really wanted to play some persona - especially because about 2 weeks ago my sister gave me money to buy the collection on switch (it was on sale.) I bought it on switch and not PC because I don't currently have a windows pc, but I also just think it's nice portable even if they reduce the graphics a little bit. (I do not have money to buy a steamdeck). Playing persona on the train will be very fun! I haven't started any of them before today because I would feel guilty for playing it while I had coursework/skipping lectures.
I've been a fan of the series since I was a kid and my sister introduced me to persona 3 (she's a big SMT fan). We had P3P on the PSP. I watched people play through Persona 3-5, but I've only played persona 3 portable (briefly) and the original persona 5 (on ps4). I'm excited to try playing persona 4! It's really nostalgic for me as I was obssessed with it in primary school. I drew Izanagi for a school assignment once hahaa.(I also recall that me and my friend were obssesed with pretending we were summoning our persona p3 style, we would just act it out with our hands randomly - which must have worried a lot of teachers lol.) I also have not seen anyone play through royal, so I'm very excited to experience that!! I'm not going completely blind unfortunately, I know the general gist and got spoiled on a few things, but how things specifically play out is a mystery to me.
I was having trouble deciding which one to start first - and then decided on playing none of them LOL. Today, I really wanted to just get straight into it so I booted up my save file of Shin Megami Tensei: Persona (persona 1 psp version). The thing with persona 3-5 is that all of them have a ridiculously slow start - and today I didn't really have the patience. I just wanted to play a persona game lol.
It's been so long since I last played persona 1 that when I started it up I forgot what I was supposed to do. I had to skim through a playthrough to figure it out. This happens often - so I'm thankful for games that have objectives in the corner or something. (To be fair, if you went to another location and talked to your party members they all mentioned what place you have to go to next but I'm a bit dense and I wanted to recap the story a little.) I don't think I'm very far into the game but it's quite fun still, especially once I encountered Igor. Fusing personas is the best!
My favourite characters so far are Nanjou and Brown/Hidehiko. They're quite fun hahaa, even though they're both assholes (my favourite). One's a smart rich kind of asshole, the other is a silly overconfident guy. I like their character designs. I took a break for a bit because playing with keyboard controls was annoying (using an emulator). Then I realised it was 3am. I made myself a cup of tea beforehand and then forgot about it because I was so focused on the game, it's super cold now. That's a habit I need to break - the amount of tea I've wasted like this is probably the same amount the Americans threw out into Boston Harbour.
Playing the game with the keyboard is really annoying - I keep bumping into walls and stuff because of the controls. I also keep forgetting the L and R keybinds so it made everything go about 10 times slower. I was going to use my switch pro controller but it's been sitting on a shelf for ages so the bluetooth's dead - I can't find to cable for it. Actually, it's my brother's controller so he might have not given me the cable. It's also entirely possible and actually very likely that he gave me the cable and I lost it somehow. Aghh whyy!!! I took a break to go charge it. I could've probably used my laptop charger as a cable but at the time I was actually charging my laptop since it was at 5% so... not doable. Hopefully I can find the cable!
Other things I did today that aren't playing persona: grinding SP in Fire Emblem Heroes - (I really want to build base Inigo). Watched some Bakemonogatari. I tried watching some more MariaMite but I wasn't in the mood for it today so I stopped a few minutes in.
Overall, today was fun and relaxing! Tomorrow, I'll probably go to my friend's house to play games. Thanks for reading!
4 days compiled into 1 diary entry, because not a lot happened in each day for 1 whole entry, but together they can make a solid one.
I went out for 3 consecutive days!! Can you believe that?? Fucking insane. Not to mention I went out on Friday. I was meant to go out today (the 6th) to see the christmas market (properly this time). I completely forgot I made plans today and I woke up absolutely knackered at 2pm to my friend on discord telling me we’re gonna meet at 4. Fortunately another friend who we was going to go with us was sick, so we decided to cancel. Thank god because holy hell I wouldn’t be able to do it today. They’re already making plans for saturday as well but I think I need to lie down for a whole month. Don’t get me wrong - I’m very happy they’re inviting me. Highschool me 4 years ago would have cried if this happened - but I am very tired. Suffering from success is real i guess…
A lot of these diary entries are probably gonna be ‘today I went out with a friend’ - I promise I’m not flexing that I have friends! I also usually do not go outside very much, it’s just that it’s nearing the end of the semester and all my uni friends live quite far away so everyone wants to make the last days count or something like that - and I happen to always say yes to everything considering I’m usually never out anyway.
On Sunday (the 3rd), I slept at 9am because I got too caught up with working on my coursework and diary layout. In the night, I went to a uni friend’s house and played vidya video games with 4 other people. We played overcooked - which ended up being a nightmare. We needed one person to orchestrate everything because we were so incompetent. Everyone was shouting at eachother - truly one of the games of all time. Then we ate chicken and chips while watching markiplier’s old fnaf videos. Then we played Spooky's Jump Scare Mansion - I think that was the game. It was fun.
The next day it was another friend’s birthday. So in the evening I went to their house and met all their other university friends. It was like 5 of us in a very small cramped room - eating dominos and talking about university (and persona 5.) They all do the same course and hearing them talk about all the projects they do for their course makes me so glad I chose the course I did. Mine’s mostly exam based. (I get like 2 courseworks per year and it’s a negligible percentage of one module usually - like 10-25%. Last year I even forgot about one of them until a week later and I still ended up getting a good grade because I did alright on the exam.) I get problem sheets but I don’t get penalised if i don’t do them - i’m glad I don’t have to faff around with labs. On my course, I only have to do well on the exams at the end of each semester.
The day after that - the 5th, I woke up only to remember I have society responsibilities (gyah) so i actually have to get up and go into campus. After doing my society thing one of the member’s wanted to eat out and so we ended up at a steakhouse. It was bloody expensive - cheapest steak £21. It was served with a volcanic stone so we could cook it ourselves. I pretty sure I ate most of it raw and it was fucking delicious. Banging. Scrumptious. It came with garlic butter, mushroom sauce and salt and it tasted so good. I got chips with it as well and the chips were so crunchy. Should I have spent £30 on that meal? Probably not, but it’s December I’ll make the money back on Christmas.
That brings us to today. What did I do today? Great question. I can’t really remember (lol). Much of nothing (what I usually do everyday - don’t be fooled by all this going out business that’ll stop very soon.) I did my laundry, made a nice cup of tea, finished my leftovers, browsed wikipedia. I might go into the shop to buy ice cream cause my flatmate informed me there was a sale. I’ve been trying to do my coursework but I really have no idea what I’m doing - it’s all minecraft enchanting table to me. Overall, it’s been nice.
I can’t wait till I can go home for the holidays - although, that’s when I have to start cramming for exams (I’ve skipped all my lectures for the past 5 weeks - that’ll bite me in the ass.) I want to see the christmas lights in the city. (I probably won’t go, but it’s nice to think about.) I’m in the christmas mood I guess.
My deadline for coursework is in 2 days. When I’m done, I’m gonna play persona 4 and majora’s mask completely guilt free! I’ll have time to continue watching some anime as well! I started Maria-Mite season 3 and I’m enjoying it - more MariMite is very nice but also the animation quality is very very good (better than previous seasons.) Speaking of anime I’ve got an entry from my actual goddamn diary last year about madoka magica (i was rewatching it at the time.) Maybe I’ll put it up here. Why the fuck do I write so much for these diary entries??? Maybe this site is getting a bit too personal.
My personal site is getting a bit too personal.
A few days ago I bought some sd cards online for my switch and 3ds. I got them today. I was very excited, I think I get impressed rather easily.
After that, I went ice skating with some friends. It was the first time I've ever skated. It looks deceptively easy. I thought I'd be skating circles around people but I never even left the rail and managed to fall twice. I was hanging onto dear life. I have a friend who works at an ice rink who I wanted to impress after university ends but I don't think that's happening - they'll be impressed by the number of times I fall instead.
One of the friends I went ice skating with said that it's not for the faint of heart. My heart wasn't really racing, but I'm pretty sure I was scared? Usually, your heart beats when you're scared but recently that hasn't happened. Anyway, I think me being unable to skate was more of a mental block than anything. Like... I need more confidence I guess? Or, more likely a part of me just thought it'd be embarassing to fail. It was super fun despite that.
We went to eat food at the christmas market. The christmas lights were very pretty. I ate a burger from one of the stalls.
Then I participated in a quiz night, hosted by the anime society. It was pretty fun, although there was quite a lot of non-anime questions that I was not expecting. Not like I could answer the anime questions either - the committee really like shitty isekai anime for some reason. You know it's bad when you need to have actually watched 'Another World with my Smartphone' to answer the question lmfao. My team got 3rd overall though, which was pretty good all things considered.
It was an interesting day, hahaa. Also a super cold day - recently it's just been really cold. I made the mistake of not wearing gloves that day and my hands were burning from how cold they were. Sorry that this is written like a robot. I am a robot It's currently 7am and I stayed up writing this. (It's the 3rd actually - agh - I didn't write the diary entry on the day it happened. I'm such a fraud! I don't deserve to breathe!!)
Speaking of writing diary entries on the day it happens, I'll probably write my november entries in the next week or so (this week if i'm lucky). Ok, goodbye.